An Open Letter
I’m just warning you now, this is long. Way long. Get a thermos of coffee, print out and sit a spell – long.
Wednesday, May 25, 2005 was an eventful day for us all. We didn’t know it, but you would be on your way before the night was through. Well, we were busy enough the day before with Sam and Perrin’s birthday trip to Gatti Town. We had fun there – although the pizza was just as bad as it always is, but I left there very tired and still very pregnant with you. We went to see Star Wars 3 a few days before, too. Basically, we stayed busy and you went along for the ride.
Anyway, Perrin had said that you could be born on any day, including her birthday (which is, as you know and not coincidentally, Sam’s birthday as well… I guess that would have made it a 3 for one special kind of day), as long as it wasn’t May 20 – her recital night, or May 25 – when she had to perform at a theater re-opening. So, I guess you were listening to your sister even before you were born.
So, that day Sam, Perrin and I hung out at the house, made some oatmeal raisin cookies, a double portion of Hamburger Helper for dinner and worked on your quilt. Had to be at the dance studio for Perrin’s last class and performance at 6. Several friends commented on how you were still part of me and “When were you going to be born?” Of course, I told them any time was fine. We had actually hoped you would be born on Sam’s and Perrin’s birthday, but, oh well.
When Perrin’s final class was over, we walked down to the Grand about a block away for her performance there. Sam and I sat outside – I thought it would be easier for your big brother to wait where he could move around and enjoy the rest of the evening. We sat and talked with Sue a few minutes before she went inside and then we waited. But not for long. Sam was bored and I had to use the bathroom (again). Since we were downtown and it was after hours, most everything was closed. So Sam and I walked back to the studio to use the bathroom, but it was locked. We finally found a bathroom at Marcus Furniture. They were having a going out of business sale, so they were open late.
Done with that, we went back outside to wait some more. Kari and Jackson joined us to wait outside and we talked for a long time. About you, about the baby she was expecting, Sam, Perrin and Rachael. Sam was trying to keep little Jackson occupied and then he got aggravated with him, I think and started trying to keep him away. And then I started getting aggravated with your brother. I hope, if you read this when you are older, that you know that I don’t get aggravated very easily. Sam was being somewhat difficult because of the 2 year old that was pushing his buttons, but he wasn’t being anything that I shouldn’t have been able to deal with ordinarily. So I guess I should have wondered if you were on your way. Contractions were pretty common at this point, or I’m sure they would have clued me in.
So Perrin got done with her performance and we made it home around 8:30 PM. I was so tired and I had a muscle in my right shoulder blade that hurt a lot . Sam and Perrin had both rubbed it, trying to make it feel better, but it didn’t help. By the way, Sam and Perrin rubbed my feet, legs, arms and shoulders all the time while I was pregnant. They were a big help! I don’t think you caused any of the aches and pains in particular – I kept moving and dancing and teaching my classes right up until the beginning of May, so I was pretty flexible. You did, however, kick and turn and roll over a lot whenever I ate ice. It was the one craving I had and I guess you enjoyed it on some level too.
So I sent your brother and sister to bed and went to take a hot shower, hoping to ease the pain in my shoulder blade. I stood in the shower for a while, but it didn’t seem to help much. I got out of the shower, dried off, put on my pajamas and my water broke! And I felt kind of stupid not knowing that you were on your way before this. After all, I had been to the mid-wife the day before and was only 1 ½ cm dilated. Which didn’t seem like a lot to me (having only progressed a ½ cm in one week). But while I thought about it in the shower, I reasoned that that was ½ way through the first stage of labor! So when my water broke, I thought, “Of course!”. And I was very happy, but still very calm.
It was 10:30 when my water broke, Daddy wasn’t home and Ssam and Perrin were in bed and sounded like they were asleep. I went to call your Daddy, but the phones were out! But I thought, “no big deal… I’ll not worry until 11:00.” I brushed my teeth, cleaned myself up, got dressed and packed the last few extras I would need at the hospital. Daddy walked thorugh the door at 10:45 and I asked him if he was ready to go? “Go where?” “To the hospital”. I think maybe he asked why or if we had to go now or something, but then we got back on task and called the midwife on Daddy’s cell phone. Katie asked all of the routine questions… when did my water break, and how far apart the contractions were. Well, I hadn’t even thought to start counting those, so Katie told us to wait at home for 3 hours and count the contractions before going into the hospital. Your Dad started making phone calls and sending e-mails to the people he worked with and I got a watch, pen and paper to count. Already they were 2 minutes apart! We sat on the bed and talked until 11:30, when we went to watch a little TV – The Late Show With Jon Stewart. I kept an eye on the watch until about 12:30. I had walked through a lot of the pain, but the contractions and the pressure were getting harder to deal with. I told Daddy that I didn’t think we would make it 3 hours, 2 hours was good enough, and then I asked what he thought Sam and Perrin would need at the hospital and to go ahead and tell them to get ready.
Your Daddy went upstairs, told Sam and Perrin to wake up, we had to go to the hospital because it was “time for Mommy to have the baby… Moira’s coming!” I was still pacing the floor in the front room, which was still cleared from where I had used it as a studio for my music classes. I had to stop every time a contraction came. I made sure to tell Sam and Perrin that I was in pain, but it was OK and they didn’t have to worry. Daddy made sure to tell them that I would probably scream too, but I was still OK and nothing was wrong.
The drive to the hospital was uneventful, unless you’re counting every other minute. And I remember the turns and bumps in the car were a “bit” uncomfortable. We parked at the emergency side of the hospital… wrong side! Went ahead and brought in the suitcase with us, but had to walk around to the front entrance of the hospital to get to the right elevator. And even then, when we got up to the second floor, we couldn’t get to the labor and delivery side because of the security doors. SO we went BACK downstairs and up in a different elevator. I will admit that I was offered a wheelchair when I stopped at the entrance and told them I was in labor, but I told them I could walk. I regretted that when I finally got upstairs to the l&d desk and the nurse played 20 questions with me, trying to figure out if I had ever been a patient on the floor without actually asking that, having me sign more papers and weighing me. I can only assume that she was new to the labor and delivery floor cause I had come in the previous week or so and signed a million papers (probably mine and your life away) AND at this point my weight wasn’t really a question now, was it? I was about to loose quite a bit! By the time I got to my room I as asking when I could get an epidural.
After your delivery, I found out that the nurse on hand, who was very nice, called Katie and told her I was there and asking for an epidural. Apparently Katie had a hard time believing her because I guess I didn’t sound too bad on the phone and I had expressed a lot of concerns to her about wanting a better birth experience than I had had with Sam and Perrin. I had told her I didn’t want to do any intervention that I didn’t need, but I was open to what I did. I guess I caught her off guard!
The anesthesiologist was nice, joked with your Daddy and made sure to let us know that he was a nurse. He kept asking me how much I was feeling and that confused me a bit. Sam and Perrin were delivered by c-section, so the epidural I got with them took away ALL feeling. I guess I was kind of expecting the same thing, but still felt a LOT of pressure. That was uncomfortable, but not really pain and I wasn’t ready for that. The pressure was amazing! I hadn’t felt anything like that before. It was more than any words can express. I don’t remember the sensation of any pain when you delivered, there was just so much pressure! I just had to push. It was very hard not to push. Waiting to dilate sufficiently was extremely difficult. By the time I could push, I was more than ready and you were born in 5 pushes. To everyone, including me, that was very quick!
Sam and Perrin were there for the whole thing. There were 2 easy chairs and a TV in the far corner of the room. I told them they could sit and watch TV there or go to the waiting room or watch while you were born. Daddy even turned the chairs so they faced away, just in case. But for once, there was something going on that they knew was much more important than anything else going on around them could be. They were very concerned about my screaming, but they watched the entire thing! We were all there for your birthday. You are very special to us, a joy to all of us and very much loved.
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Brenda |
BrendaThanks for sharing your birth story. I love to read about other mom’s experiences. I suppose it is the whole sisterhood thing but I’m always touched when I see A Baby Story on TLC and see the joy of a birth. You do have some humorous parts to your story that I loved too – the bumps in the road and parking on the wrong side of the hospital!! Too funny! Take care, B February 19 9:39 PM |
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qtpies7 |
qtpies7Oh, thats awesome! I wanted my kids with me for my 6th baby, but my doctor sent them home when things started getting scarey. And before my husband could come back to the hospital we had decided on an emergency c-section. I think it would be amazing to have the kids watch their sibling be born! There really is nothing like the miracle of birth! I’m amazed and cry every time I see one. I want to be a midwife or doula, but I’m sure I’d still cry for every child’s birth! February 18 10:28 AM |
