Growing up in church I started singing with a group of other children and then when we got older the adults started trying to get us to sing duets and solos… older, contemporary songs. I was a standard teen and eventually convinced myself that I was nervous and I couldn’t do a good enough job.As an adult, back in church after several college years away, singing and leading prayer became the things that I knew I had to work through… God told me he had given me talents and I would loose them if I didn’t put them out there for Him. So I did, and I do… it doesn’t get terribly easier… I get choked up by a lot of the messages in the songs (I don’t sing them unless I like them, so, there are, inevitably catches in my voice and such). I’m not a super singer, but I hold my own. The thing is, I put myself out there … that’s always good for children to see, whether I mess up or not. And I have had to talk through it with them sometimes, because they want to know why I end up crying.
Some years ago I had a friend remind me, after his own shakey, but good performance (he has a wonderfully rich baritone voice when he’s comfortable) that we don’t do it for ourselves or even the people in the audience. I had gone up to him to shake his hand and tell him what a good job he had done. But the compliment made him nervous. I see his point, and agree… but I think God wants us to get to a place where we can take joy in what we accomplish in Him. I think that takes a lot of practice!!
Now, Sam has a wonderful singing voice and is the class clown type of funny man, but he won’t do it for people or in front of people for nothing. Perrin will, but she still suffers from the nerves… I just hope not debilitatingly. Not so much that she would avoid possibilities.
When I had gone back to my childhood church home for a visit, one of the same adults who had worked with me growing up asked me if I would lead prayer in sunday school. I said no. And kicked myself the rest of the day for it and every time I thought about it until I just pushed through it. I talk with friends a lot and find out that they’ve experienced this same thing. One lady told me she was afraid she wouldn’t know what to say. I talk to God a lot during the day in casual conversation ( and no, for the benefit of those like my dear heart, I don’t hear him talk back through bushes or anything… jiminy, sometimes I think my Heart wonders about my sanity… oh well), so not knowing what to say has never really been my problem that I can remember… it’s kind of like conversations in rehearsal. When you’re in communion with church family, you get things out on the table in prayer that have hit you through the week in your head. Yes, there are definitly times that prayer should be formal, I think. Those are the ones I have more trouble with. I believe that prayer is a lot of the times just as much a participatory, audience thing as it is to send up those sweet aromas to the Father. So I was always more concerned that I didn’t mess up for the people around me… cause Father always knows what’s on my heart (WHEW!).
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Ann |
AnnI love hearing the prayers of our kids (Kindergarten – 2nd grade) at our church Kids Club on Weds. nites…some are silly “please let me get a kitten, I will name him Sunshine” and some are pretty deep… we really encourage it, so they won’t grow up with that fear. At least, that’s our hope! February 22 3:43 PM |
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Brenda |
BrendaI can relate. There are times though that I’m compeled to lead prayer and I seriously don’t know what I’m going to say. Somehow the words come – and sometimes it is a verse that is given to me that I share – and sometimes it is in the silence that all I can say is thank you Jesus, You are so good! Speaking of praying, please pray for a young girl, Rebecca, she is in the end stages of leukemia and any day now she will see Jesus face to face. Please pray for her family. She has such a strong faith in Christ and I’m so encouraged by her journey of faith and hope. Take care, B February 22 12:30 AM |
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meg |
megOuch- this get me where I live February 21 7:30 PM |
I’m in music ministry, so I’m often on “performance” mode- practice, practice, practice - & constantly reminding myself it’s for Him, not the benefit of the audience. Like you, leading corporate prayer is something I dread & avoid, yet I talk with God almost continually all day.|
Guinevere |
GuinevereI’m the same way, Tammy! I don’t know why. God knows our hearts and knows what we need or what someone else in the group needs to hear. We need to just focus on Him during group prayer and not be thinking about what we might sound like. But…easier said than done. Have a great day! February 21 9:47 AM |
( I applaud you for putting yourself out there. That’s a big step and the hardest one! |
Amy |
AmyI can sympathize. Although sometimes I wonder if my bigger issue is making it somewhat of a performance. When I’m in a round robin of prayer type situation I spend the whole time thinking of what to say and how to phrase it in order to make it sound good. I need to be more present with it and allow the spirit to move. Take care, Amy February 20 9:37 PM |
