Encyclopedia of Me, “D”

D is for dating… how appropriate as we look forward to Valentine’s Day (we’re sending some Valentine’s through Loveland, CO for their cancellation stamp this year!  Gotta get on that… but I digress.) and I look to the past with more frequency.

So we’ll start in the past.  And as the past always has implications on our future, I think you’ll see the connections.

My Dear Heart and I met in a crowd of shared freinds, as he went to a different high school than I did.  And we didn’t even meet until later in the evening!  But the crowd had gone to one of those high school “non-alcholic” bars that were sprouting up all over the place in the 80’s, and… well, you just can’t really meet anyone and chat with them with music blaring.  But the crowd ended up driving to a popular street hangout and just talked under the street lamps.  Things were going to get out of hand when some of the guys suggested a purchase of some beer, so I made like I was packin’ all “the girls” up, since I was the designated driver, and leaving if they were going to do that.

In gallops my white knight to convince “the guys” not to proceed down that wrong path and we leaned against the car and chatted for the rest of the evening while our mutual friends flirted and cracked jokes. 

Fast forward to the next week… homecoming week at my school… Friday night, I had to march in the band.  He came anyway!  We arranged to go to a nearby city the next day to the nearest mall.  And here comes the reason I’m reminded of all of this… we stood in the mall, out front of a bookstore, and read Calvin and Hobbs comic collection books for… well, it must have been forever!  Now imagine 2 high schoolers standing in the mall laughing uproariously and not caring (well, I didn’t) what everybody thought.  We had a ball!  And I really think this actually sinched “the deal” for me as I had made the mistake of falling asleep in the car on the way to the mall… Hey!  Give me a break!  It was a 1/2 hour drive and I was nervous anyway!

Then we went to see “The Princess Bride”, one of the best movies ever made, and of course shared the first kiss AND the popcorn.

We have been together since then.  We DID have hard times as a young couple and once in college he decided that we needed to seperate, but he was thankfully talked out of that.  By that time we had made a really serious commitment to each other and I think he was starting to feel the pressure.  I don’t know whether it was my doggish reluctance to let him go or what, but we stuck it out.  And life isn’t easy as a married couple.  It’s so very important to decide your attitude about a dating situation early on, because you may end up marrying this person!  Why give up too much of yourself to someone you won’t be determined to carry on with through the good and bad?  We had our twins while he was in grad school… very stressful and another time he could have convinced himself to give up on us, but he didn’t.  He’s spent a good deal of our married life pursuing careers and dreams which meant he was away from the home A LOT.  We find ourselves in that same place right now, actually.  But he has always been commited to me and our family and we to him.  So during the times we don’t get to talk much to each other and with each other, it’s the commitment that holds us together.  This great love that God has given us would be a pity to waste just because we’re lonely or “misunderstood” or, heaven forbid, not getting or way!  Some of those things we worked through a long time ago… but you can never be complacent with marriage.  You never know when something you thought you conquered as a couple in the past will rear it’s ugly head again.

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Now I sit here in the present with a son and a daughter approaching the dating years and wondering how they’ll we’ll navigate those waters… yes, I changed it to we’ll… I’m not meaning micromanagement of their love affairs here… But they’ll make it through this stage with their eyes on what a beautiful gift love is, not to squander it, to recognize it in as many different forms as possible with the example that God has given them… their own parents.  Why would you want to totally disregard the example so prefectly capable of showing what-ifs and what-not-to-dos, just so you don’t have to be considered a meddling parent?  I think they will ask for my guidance… especially when it hurts or looks like it’s going to.  I also think they will shy away from my guidance… who wants to talk about the guy you just cannot take your mind off of with your mom?  I’ll keep my heart and eyes open… I’ll be concious of the example I’m being.

To find my other encyclopedia of me entries, put the term in the search bar in the top right hand corner… I started with “U”.

So, D is for dating…